GIVE ME THE MARBLE RYE!!!!

Ok, so its been awhile since my last post. Don't ask me why but I have nothing to post most of the time. However I will tell a couple of stories that have happened to me in the last month that may get a few laughs. First of all, almost every morning I am awakened by a rooster who loves to crow at 5 o'clock in the morning. Not only does this rooster love to crow, but he loves to hang right outside my window and crow. Well, 2 weeks ago, I woke up to crowing right outside my window as usual. Now this window is on the Northern end of my house and looks directly across the fence to my neighbor which happens to be the women's prison (insert finding a Tongan wife joke here). Having one of those mornings where you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I lept to my feet, grabbed an empty coke bottle, ran out the front door, around the side of the house where I spied the little demon perched beneath the window sill (I have security screens which will answer why I had to run out of the house to find him). I immediately hurled the empty coke bottle at him and began yelling obscenities at the poor creature. The coke bottle met its target and the rooster fluttered off clucking all the while about his bruised ego. I immediately looked across the fence, where I noticed all three women prisoners, and the woman guard staring at me. I had apparently interrupted their morning breakfast. I gave a nervous wave and walked immediately back into the house, listening to the muffled laughter from across the fence. Luckily, there is a new Rooster in town and he has chased away the old one, and for some reason respects my need for a quiet morning. Since he is the apparently the Cock of the Walk I have decided to name this rooster King George, or maybe Foghorn Leghorn. I haven't decided which.
While many of the foods and comforts from home may not be found here, I have found a bakery that sells more of a variety of bread, than the standard normal, white. The first time I noticed the bread i asked what it was called. Thinking they would respond in Tongan, i was shocked when they simply called it Rye (actually its multi grain, but that's not the point). So the next time I went in I asked for a loaf of Rye. Here is the conversation that followed:
"We don't sell rye, only Brown and white."
"Ok, well then can I have a loaf of Brown."
"Ok" and the baker proceeded to hand me a loaf of wheat.
"I asked for Brown, you know Rye, whatever its called."
"Oh, you mean kibble rye?"
"Yes."
" I am sorry we just sold the last loaf to that lady."
"Ok, I'll take a loaf of Non-white bread."
If any one has ever watched the Seinfeld TV episode where Jerry steals a loaf of the Marble Rye from the nice elderly lady, you may understand what was going through my head at that moment. Needless to say, I thought better, and I sighed and walked out of the bakery and caught the bus home. After all that wouldn't you guess my luck. on the bus ride home I accidentally crushed the loaf of bread. Next time I think I'll stick with white.